


You Call It Bullshit, I Call It Healing

by ideasCornucopia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Car Accidents, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Stabdads, first fic ever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 04:38:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1374172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideasCornucopia/pseuds/ideasCornucopia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you were really angry when your mom told you you couldn´t go with your friends to the cinema that day as a punishment for arriving at 3 am yesterday. It was moronic but your father agreed, so there wasn´t much to do about it.</p><p>You don´t know if you regret or feel relief that you weren´t in the car with your three best friends and the brother of one of them.</p><p>Everything changes when you discover the accident wasn´t really an accident but a murder attempt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Begining to a Clusterfuck

_== > Start_

 

You were sitting at the waiting room, wondering what sort of thing the doctors will tell you. You were the first one to arrive to the hospital when you heard about the accident. Their parents are off town, and your mom is picking up Rufioh and driving him and Kankri here. The feeling at your stomach is making you want to puke. You feel heavy for some reason. You watch as everyone passes by like if they were in slow motion. You only caught as somebody in a white coat walked at you. You could only see bad news on his eyes.

 

“Are you the one here for Mr. Captor´s accident?”

You nod.

“I am sorry to inform-“

 

_== > START FROM THE START_

Everything was void. No stars. No planets. No life. No one knows for how long everything was like that-

 

_== >START FROM THIS FIC YOU PIECE OF SHIT_

Woah, calm down dude.

 

_== > Then stop being a Little shit!_

Okay.

Your parents meet long time ago. One cold night on February after Mr. Hussie took a wounded man from the street and brought him home to take care of him. Mr. Hussie told your mom, his maid and only person living with him, to clean the man´s injuries and look after him until he was better.

You mother always been a kind person, and everybody wonders how YOU could be the spawn of somebody like her. You blame your dad for that.

The man that they picked up was no one but Spencer “Spades” Slick, leader of the gang The Midnight Crew, who had just gotten into a fight with some members of the Felt, the rival gang, and was left on the street to die, but instead was saved by a rich man, author of a popular web comic.

Spades stayed there for about two weeks, and was really pleased to keep in touch with Hussie´s maid.  They started dating after 2 years of knowing each other.

When the old man Hussie died, half of his fortune as well as his manor were inherited to Ms. Paint, his maid, so you practically had a huge house and enough money for basic needs your whole life.

You kind of had a happy childhood. Aside from the suffering that were Kankri´s lectures and that one time you father accidentally stabbed you, it was kind of great. Money and a nice mom, every kid´s dream. You weren´t so lucky in the topic of friends. You have never been really social, more like the grumpy asshole with short height who swears a lot. If it wasn´t for your father´s friends, you are sure you would have been pretty much a hermit.

You had three uncles, none of them really being related to you, but they felt like family. Calvin “Clubs” Deuce, Hall “Hearts” Boxcars, and Raymond “Diamond” Droog, more known as the other members of your dad´s gang. They gathered most of the nights on your house, you never really knew the kind of stuff they did or what they talked about, but your mother didn´t really liked it. Basically, the three also had kids, and those kids become your best friends.

 

Sollux Captor, almost a year older than you, a kid with a lisp and bipolarity issues and a fetish for a fucking number. Had heterochromia, had to use glasses and braces the brightest blue and red he could find that made him look that a total nerd when he was younger. Your best friend from them all.

Tavros Nitram, the youngest of the small group. Had his hair cut in a Mohawk and was half Hispanic. Low self esteem and sometimes to sweet with everyone. He loved Peter Pan and fairies for some reason. Was into Yugi oh and some animes thanks to his cousin Rufioh, whom he idolatred.

Aradia Megido, she was a nice girl. You liked her; she was often teased because she only hanged out with you three. She liked adventure and could seem kind of creepy at times, but the charming kind of creepy. Everybody misses her. You wish she was still with everyone. Everything feels half empty without her around.

 The four of you used to do everything together, since playing videogames to feeling jams the whole night. It was perfect. It all was.

 

You still remember a few things from when you guys where younger. The first time your parents brought you together. It was on your first birthday party, when you were 3. It seemed like if it was just 16 years ago.

You were alone at the table set on the garden, full of food and all the candies and sugary shit kids want to fill their souls with. The colorful party had up in your head and your usual scowl in your face.

 

“Why is there anyone here?” You asked.

“Because they haven´t arrived.” Your dad answered. He was also scowling. It´s a family thing.

“You said people will be here!”

“Yes, I said that, but you see, sometimes people take time to arrive.”

He was 30 and already done with any bullshit involving kids. You don´t hold it on him, after all he had to deal with your brother before you. You weren´t even a year when you started getting done of Kanny´s mouth.

“Why don´t you go to play while the guests arrive, Karky?” You mother suggest smiling at you.

You think about that and do as she says. After getting tired of jumping around for almost an hour you decided this was pretty much the most horrible birthday party ever.

“Somebody arrived! Come and say hello!”

You got up and ran to the door, about goddamn time.

 

There was a not so told man smiling, next to him was a kid about your age with a black and yellow stripped jumper. He had blonde hair, and his glasses were to big for his face.

 

“Sol, say hy!” The man tells the kid.

“Thup.”

“Your voice is weird.” You look at your dad concerned. “Why is his voice weird?”

“Oh, Sollux has a lisp!” The man says. He pushed the kid closer to you. It was awkward.

“Why don´t we leave this lil shits here and get in to talk about… business.” Your father tells the man.

“Sure! Behave well Sol, and try to have fun!”

They leave you two there.

“…”

“…”

“What´thh your name?” He asks.

“Karkat.”

“I will call you KK.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Becauthhe you have two K´thh in your name, and I like the number two.”

“Okay.”

“Want to eat thhhomething?”

“I guess so.”

 

You two start devouring the candies and everything in the table until someone else arrives.

 

“Atta girl.” A tall man says, leaving a girl with really long hair and a pretty maroon dress with you.

“Hy!” She says. “I am Aradia, who are you?”

“Im Karkat and this is Sollux.”

“Nice to meet you!” She smiles and hangs you a box with wrapped paper.

“What´s this?”

“A gift! People give gifts to people in birthdays!”

 

You ripped the paper of the bag to reveal a plushie of a crab. It was white and had red bottoms as eyes, you loved it.

You three started playing and talking when the next kid showed up, but he wasn´t brought by a man. It was just another taller boy. With funny colored hair.

 

“Tav,don´t be shy!”The older kid told him. “Go talk to them. I will be up with Kankri so don´t worry.”

 

The small boy walked toward the three of you and he seemed like if he was about to start crying.

 

“Don´t be sad! I am Aradia.” She extended her hand.

“Im… uh…. T-Tavros.”

“Want to play a game?” He smiles and nods.

 

It was pretty much one of the best days of your life. 


	2. Mondays Suck

You hate Mondays.

  


You hate School.

  


You hate the fact that even though it’s a fucking private school, most of the people are just spoiled pricks.

  


But what you hate the most is that Sollux, Tavros nor Aradia will be there to make the 8 hours a day you have to spend inside what this country calls education less miserable.

You ask your dad if you really have to go. He just tells you to stop being a cry baby and prove to be a Vantas for once in your life. You get out of the car and prepare yourself for what will be a terrible week.

You grab your backpack like it was the only thing that keeps you in this plane of existence and if you let it go you will disappear because all of this is a lie.

  


You can´t pay attention to whatever bullshit the English teacher is lecturing. The only thing that really is in your apparently almost empty mind is what the doctor had told you two days ago.

_  
_

_== > Back to the past._

“Im sorry to inform you none of the people in the accident are okay. One of them is dead.” The doctor informs you.

  


You feel your heart sink.

  


“…Who?” You ask, voice half broken. You don´t want any of them to die. You wish you weren´t even here. _Let it not be him, let it not be him…_ You think. You don´t know if you could take it if it was him after was happened yesterday.

  


“The young lady in the back seat.”

There is only one girl that is strong enough to take enough of you and your friend´s bullshit and was in that car.

  


“Oh.” You don´t know how to feel. No one close to you has died before. It feels like if it was just some true asshole´s bad joke. Like if none of this is really happening because there is no fucking way in hell your friends just had a car crash.

  


  


You become worried how everyone else will take it. Especially Sollux.

  


“How are the others?” You gulp, you know they are not dead, but there are many horrible things that can happen to people in a car accident.

  


“The other 3 are unconscious. We fear the other boy in the back seat will never be able to walk again. We are still examining the two in the front seats; it seems both of them got hit on the heads really hard.”

  


You don´t really know who was sitting where, but you do know none of them will never be okay again.

  


Somebody storms into the waiting room like if they are escaping from Voldemort of whoever wants to kill them. Your eyes see the bright red that burns from a familiar sweater.

  


“Karkat!” Your mom screams at you and goes to hug you. Kankri and Rufioh have a hard time catching up with her.  The short and slightly chubby woman looks up at the doctor.

  


“Are you also here for the accident?” She nods.

  


“None of the other kid´s parents are on town, but I will respond for them.”

  


The start the usual adult conversation, you really don´t care. You let yourself fall over the chair again, everything becomes too heavy to continue standing up.

  


Rufioh sits next to you while Kankri tries to get into the talk with the doctor. He paps your back.

  


“What happened?”

  


“Aradia is dead.”

_  
_

_== >In the present._

  


The first three periods are boring as always. You miss how Sollux would usually just throw things at you halfway through the class or how you all would just start chatting in your cell phones not really caring for whatever is happening around.

  


You spent the break in the usual place where you four rest. Outside the Library with no rich douchecanoes to bother you. You don´t really feel like eating anything so you don´t. A couple of bullies start teasing you over eating alone; you just show them the good old finger, not in the mood to do the full Karkat Attack.

  


You can´t do really anything on Biology since Tav is your partner in Laboratory. You didn´t even wanted to dissect that stupid frog anyways. The class ends up as a mess when someone decides it would be funny to start a frog war. Failing frogs and one hitting Mrs. P´s face would make anyone laugh but you don´t really find it funny today.

  


PE is as shitty as ever, the teacher yells at the students to run in circles around the Gym for the next 45 minutes while he sits and eats tacos while laughing when somebody puts his feet infront of you and makes you fall, you face hitting the hard ground.

  


You spend half of History with the school´s nurse while your nose stops bleeding.

  


“Is there something wrong Karkat?” She asks you. She is your favorite grown up person in the school, and the only one that really treats students like humans. You can´t hide there is something wrong with everything around her, she knows you. You spent half of the semester in here because some idiots think it’s funny to use you as a punching bag.

“Yes.” You answer. You look down at your uniform and inspect for any blood drops on it. It´s moronic you have to use it in public school you can wear just your goddamn underwear and no one gives a flying fuck.

“What happened?”

“My friends…”

  


She smiles at you and paps you on the back. Your mother informed the principal personally that they won´t be attending to school until they get better. You are sure all the school now knows about the car crash, you are kind of surprised the asses that are your classmates haven´t bring it up yet, or at least not around you. You are kind of thankful with that. You really are not in the mood for their stupid shit.

  


You get out of school with enough homework to last a life time. You skip Theater at the end to go directly to the hospital.

  


Rufioh picks you up, Kankri sits next to you. You politely as you can be tell your brother to keep his mouth shut for the rest of the day. He does, Kanny isn´t that much of a dumpass to not understand how you are feeling right now.

  


Being part of one of the most important gangs on the city means their parent´s can pay the best hospital for their sons.

  


You got to Sollux´s room straight; Rufioh and Kankri go to Tav´s, for all you know Mituna hasn´t even wake up yet.

You feel a wave of pity toward your friend when you see him like this. His arm broken, and bandages around his eyes and most of his head. You can see some of his blonde hair coming out of them.  He isn´t asleep.

  


“Hey Fuckass…” You say not so loud.

  


His head searches from where your voice comes from.

  


“KK?” He asks.

You sit on the sofa next to his bed.

  


“How are you?”

  


“I´ve been better. The doctor says I may never be able to thee again…” His lisp is showing, most of the time he keeps it under control. You want to hug him so badly, so you just do.

  


It´s awkward, he doesn´t seems to get what is going on, but he hugs back.  


“You had me worried, you lispy piece of shit. Never. Ever. Do that again.” You whisper in his ear. He pats your head.

  


“I´m okay, don´t flip your shit. I´m more interethted on how the otherth are right now.” You lean on him. “I heard TV´th Legth-“He pauses. “I heard TV´s legs are fucked and they don´t know how Tuna is. I haven´t heard from AA.”

  


You gulp, no one has told him about Aradia yet, and you sure as hell won´t. At least not right now.

  


“How was school?” He notices your sudden silence.

  


“Meh, as good as our fucking school can be.”

  


“I don´t know, I would rather be there than here…”

  


You know this is hard for him.

  


“It is really boring being here. I guess everything will just be boring from now on.”

  


“Why?”

  


“Because I´m fucking blind?” His voice is cold, not angered or sad, just cold.

  


“I´ll come to visit you every fucking day if that makes you loathe everything a little”

“Really?” His face brightens up a little.

“Yes. I fucking promise it.”

  


He smiles slightly, you smile back at him. He places his arm around you. You stay there for a while, talking. It makes you kind of forget everything that is going on.

  


  


Mondays sometimes aren´t so bad.


	3. A Change in Routine

You have set on a routine for the past week and a half. You wake up in the morning like normal was still a thing for you now, go to the school and spend your whole time there alone, then head to the hospital to visit your friends where you spend most of the rest of the day, at the end you return to your house around 10 when the hospital closes the doors to visitors and do the rest of the homework you really have no interest in doing.

 

Sollux is being way too okay with his new disability. It feels weird to look at him when the doctors finally took the bandages off his eyes. The injuries are better now, but his parents prefer that he stays in the hospital until he is completely fine. For what you have heard the doctors say, apparently his face was hit with some kind of sharp debris during the car crash. His eyes were pretty much screw up.

 

You try to not think about it a lot, no one likes to know how people they love are hurt in any way.

 

You also visit Tav. He has been feeling really down lately. You remember well his smile breaking when the doctors told him the bad news. You helped Rufioh with the money to buy him and small present. He absolutely loved the small cow plushie with wings.

 

“I will uh… name her Tinkerbull!” He had said while hugging his gift.

 

He does know about Aradia. Rufioh told you he isn´t taking it that well.

You wonder when you are going to tell Sollux. You guess his parents will take care of that.

 

In the topic, you have been talking a lot to Sollux lately, but the real thing you want to talk about is still untouched. After what happened the day before the accident, you have just been waiting to the subject to be brought up by him. He always kisses you in the cheek when you have to leave the hospital, and he even placed his arm around you when you were in with his parents. Honestly, this is going a lot better than what you expected.

 

The doctors tell you that both of them will probably be able to return to their homes in half a week or a few days more than that.

 

Mituna still hasn´t wake up, and it´s making everyone kind of worried, mainly because the doctors still don´t really know what the damage on him is.

 

You start thinking how everything will be once Tavros and Sollux get back to school sit in the History class that you don´t realize the teacher tells you everybody will need to pair up with someone to make this project that is due for Friday. She gives you the rest of the class to plan how you are supposed to make it.

You sigh and decide to just stare at the window for the rest of the class while everyone just uses the time to talk and chat with their friends about completely unrelated bullshit.

 

Five minutes before the bell rings, a person stands in front of your desk. You look up to find a girl a bit taller than you grinning widely at you. She has red hair length to her shoulders and pointy carmine shades that don´t really let you see her eyes. She is holding a white cane with the form of a dragon on top. You haven´t seen her before, which is weird, because you had almost been your whole life in this school.

 

“What do you want?” You interrogate her.

 

“Want to partner up with me?” She says still smiling.

 

“Don´t you have someone else to bother with that?”

 

“Nope! I’m kind of new in the school so…” She sits in your table. “You are also the only one without a partner too.”

 

You had heard from the others the rumors of some new girls in the school, in different grades, that entered in the middle of the semester. You don´t really cared to listen more about it because really, they are just new students.

 

“You sure you don´t have another fucking friend?”

 

“I think I wouldn´t forget if I had friends. What about you?”

 

“The answer is yes, I have friends.”

 

“Then where are they?”

 

“None of your fucking business!” You snarl at her and she just laughs.

 

“Is that a yes or a no?”

 

You think about it for a moment and decide it is just a stupid project and you really don´t have no one else to partner up with.

 

“I guess, what is your fucking name again?”

 

“Terezi Pyrope!” She exteds her hand.

 

“Karkat Vantas.” You don´t shake it.

 

“Hang me a paper so I can give you my Trollian.” You give her your notebook; she takes a pen from your desk and writes something fast. “We can go to your house today.”

 

“Wait, why?”

 

“I can´t tomorrow.”

 

“Augh, fine.”

 

She gives you the notebook and the bell rings.

 

“It´s a date, _Karkles_!” She stands up and grabs her back pack from her place.

 

“IT´S NOT!”  You yell back at her as she leaves the classroom. You think about that nickname she just called you, no one called you nicknames aside from your Mom and Sollux. You can let it slide this time though. You take your things and go to Literature.

 

This going to be a hell of a project.

 

* * *

 

 

Homework is the worst invention made by man. The teachers seem to be feeding on the pain of their students, and you truly believe they do.

 

You are heading toward Rufioh´s car when someone grabs you from behind. You turn around about to scream their eyes out when you see it´s Terezi, and you remember you are supposed to take her to your house for the project.

 

“So, you got a car to drive there or I could ask my sister?”

 

“We don´t have legal age to drive so yeah ask your goddamn sister.” You look back at you to see Kankri and Rufioh making you a sign to enter to the car. “Stay here for a moment.”

 

You walk toward them fast.

 

“Is there something wrong, Karkat?” Kankri asks.

 

“Yes.” You answer. “I have this stupid project with the new girl due to Friday because the teacher thinks it’s really hilarious to tell us about it until today, so I will finish it with her today at the house.”

 

Rufioh pats you on the back and smiles. “Don´t worry, go do the project, we will tell Sollux and Tav you had stuff to do.”

 

You smile back and head toward Terezi who is talking with a tall girl with a blonde mane with a few cerulean streaks; she is wearing glasses and glaring at you like if you were some kind of scum.

 

“Karkles, Vriska; Vriska, Karkles.” Terezi makes a quick introduction. “Can you give us a ride to his house?”

 

“Get in the car then.” Vriska orders both of you; her voice is kind of intimidating so you do it.

 

You jaw drop over the sweet piece of fuck that is Vriska´s car. Blue and looking expensive. The ride is awkward, mostly just with the music on the stereo and both girls singing in full lung. You indicate the way to the manor, and Vriska leaves Terezi and you on the entrance.

 

“Bye Redglare!” The blonde screams as she accelerates the fuck out of there.

 

Terezi joins arms with you, and you look at her.

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“Im blind, and I don´t know this place.” She explains with her usual grin.

 

You guide her toward the sala, she drops herself and her stuff in the coach. Your mother greets you and asks if you want to order a pizza, Terezi nods.

 

“Wow, this place smells so great!” She takes her shades off; you can see her weird looking eyes that look different from Sollux´s. “Do you have anything red in here?”

 

“This half assed painting my mom bought from one of her trips.” It is abstract and has been there in the wall since you can remember; you never really understood what it means, but your mom loves art. “How did you know if you are… you know?”

 

“I can smell colors and taste colors, isn´t that awesome?”

You think it’s rather kind of creepy.

 

The pizza arrives about 15 minutes later, after eating the best pepperoni pizza the town has to offer- which Terezi ate way to loudly- you proceed to do the shit ton of homework and do the project.

 

Math is hard so you decide to use a calculator. Terezi knows most of the answers to the Literature´s questioner. English and Biology are due to next week so you don´t even bother bringing the books home.

 

Thankfully Terezi did put a bit of attention to what the project is about, just a PowerPoint presentation you have to expose in front of everyone plus an essay in the notebook about Sparta or Athens.

You both go for Sparta. You open the book and start reading aloud the information for her.

 

“ _Sparta was a polis in Ancient Greece with a military based society_.” You have never been so great reading a loud, but you can at least try this time. “ _Babies were_

_examined at birth for any flaws. If they had anything wrong they were let in the woods to die-“_

 

“Can we do something else Karkles?” Terezi is lying on the ground while you are holding the book on the coach. “This is so boring…”

 

“No, this project is due to fucking Friday and we have to finish it all today since we can´t reunite tomorrow. I don´t know if you even care about your goddamn grades, but I really do not want to fail this subject again.” You groan at her, because it´s almost 8 pm and you hadn´t even finished a quarter of the essay.

 

“Augh, but this thing is so boring, do we really have to learn about the Spartans and how they murdered babies?”

 

You roll your eyes. “When we finish this shit we can do something else.”

 

You set that as an agreement. The essay isn´t that long but you think you summarized everything well enough. The Power Point presentation is sloppy and Terezi used too much red on it for your liking, but you think if you present it well enough you can even get a B.

 

“Really?” She says between laughs. “Romcoms?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

You don´t understand everybody´s problem with your liking for good movies, but you end up watching the first two Spiderman movies. Terezi licks the screen a lot and you end up almost puking after eating so many popcorns.

Vriska picks her up almost at 12 pm. She hugs you and licks your face good bye.

 

You won´t tell her, but it was really an awesome day.


	4. World´s Biggest Morons

You don´t see Terezi in school the next day.

She said she wouldn´t able to do the project on Thursday, so maybe that´s why. Not like you fucking care anyway.

 

During luch some idiots decided it would be a great idea to try to use you as a punching bag. It wasn´t anything you aren´t used to, but most of the times you have one of your friends to back you up. You feel slightly bad for not visiting yesterday, but today you have decided that homework can wait until tomorrow morning, so you will spend the whole day with them.

You returned to the nursery with a bruise in your cheek, she gently placed a pink band aid with daisies. You wore it with pride.

 

Spanish is the worst subject and you are probably not passing it this time again, but who cares.

 

Rufioh giggles when he sees you, but he drives you to the hospital after school gladly.

 

“It´s great you are coming today, Sollux was kind of disappointed when we told him you weren´t there…” He comments while you are entering to the building, it kind of makes your heart sting.

 

You knock your friend´s door to let him know someone is in.

 

He turns around. “Who ith there?” He asks.

 

“It´s me…” You answer.

 

“Didn´t you had anything to do today?” He says sarcastically.

 

“No, I think I wouldn´t be here wasting my time in visiting you if I had something better to do.” You sit next to him. “Perhaps, what do you think I have to do aside this?”

 

“Mhmm, let me think.” He pauses for a dramatic effect, the asshole. “Maybe going thomewhere with a girl?...”

You see the problem now.

 

“Well sorry, I had to do a project. I do go to school.”

 

“Oh, really, a project. Right…” He acts like if he was rolling his eyes, even though the obvious fact.

 

“Come on!” You hiss at him. “Like if a girl could actually take my bullshit. We didn´t did anything aside from homework and watch a movie. And I was sitting in the coach while she was just licking the fuck out of the TV…”

 

He raises and eyebrow. “Did you jutht thaid licking?”

 

You nod, then mentally hit yourself because he can´t fucking see that. “Yes. Licking.”

 

“And… what ith her name?”

 

“Terezi Something I don´t remember.”

 

“Okay…”

 

He looks up, leaning into the bedside. Everything gets filled up by some familiar awkward silence between both of you. You decide to just say something before things around there turn even heavier.

 

“You don´t really have to worry about me being with any girls or other being. I thought I had left it pretty clear who I was interested in the last time we talked about this sort of bullshit.” You kind of whisper. He sighs.

 

“Yeth, you made it pretty clear…” He turns around where he senses you are “But, if RF showed up to tell you your friend didn´t came to vithit you at the hothpital becauthe he went with an unknown girl to who knowth where, how would you feel?”

 

“In my defense I told Rufioh to tell you I had to do a project with someone and my house.”

 

“Then try to tell thomeone elthe to deliver the methhage the neckth time…” He smiles slightly.

 

You lay next to him peacefully for a long while, no one saying nothing again. You start playing with his messy blonde hair, which is kind of soft actually.

 

“They are letting me and TV out thith Thaturday…” He tells you out of nowhere. You sit up.

 

“Well, that´s great.”

 

“I don´t know if it ith that good…”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don´t know… I mean, they aren´t letting go AA or Tuna tho it feel kind of wrong. Pluth, I don´t know how everything will be now that I´m… you know, blind.”

 

“Who cares really how it will be.” You look up to the ceiling. “I mean, it will be a hell lot different, but we will just move on it I guess.”

 

“… I kind of do care this time.” You return your attention toward him again. “At leatht... How it will be with you and me.”

 

“What with both of us?”

 

“KK, don´t act like you didn´t know what I am talking about. We haven´t talked about _that_ , but I think it´s time I make a man out of mythelf and jutht fucking athk you what will happen with our friendship or whatever it ith now.”

 

Nervousness hits you hard. Yes, you were kind of anxious for any of you to finally say it, but you don´t know what you will answer him.

 

“KK?” He seems concerned. You take a deep breath.

 

“I just… Okay, we can do this. What is exactly what you are waiting for?”

 

“To just recapitulate thingth: That day you said you kind of had a crush on me.”

 

“And you said you were also kind of feeling the same for me.”

 

“And we are the world´th biggetht moronth for not theeing it thooner…” You snort.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Tho… what that maketh uth?”

 

“I don´t know…”

 

“You are the one that ith overly obthethed with romantic crap and thtuff like that, I was waiting you to thort of fickth thith thituation.”

 

“I can´t always fix all of your problems, Sollux.”

 

“What thothe that maketh uth now?”

 

“What you want us to be?”

He sighs.

 

“Honethtly, I do not want to be friendth anymore. I mean, not like thtop talking to you. Like.... augh thith ith the hardetht thing I ever had to do.”

 

“Like, more than friendth?” He makes an approving sound. “… In a relationship?”

 

“Maybe… Even though I don´t think I would be a great boyfriend…”

 

“Shut up, dick price, you would make an amazing boyfriend.”

 

“Ith that a yeth or a no?”

 

You take a moment to think about it, remembering the reasons why you had a crush on him in the first place.

You have been with this asshole almost all your life. He is your best friend. He spent his whole summer when you two were 13 at your side when your father accidentally stabbed you instead og going to Mexico Beach with the rest of your family. He lied to the teachers each single time when you skipped a class. He wasted nights trying to explain you how to code even when you failed at it so hard. He stood by your side and got his ass beaten that one time 9th graders started picking it on you when you were in Elementary. He is the guy who gives absolutely no fucks on school but manages to get great grades somehow. He is the guy that didn´t ate in almost a whole week because he was too busy coding. He is the best friend you had ever wished for and none a single time had left you while you were through a hard time.

 

“Yes, that is a fucking yes.”

 

His face turns into something bright. He leans into you and touches your face.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Looking for your lipth.” He says, and in less than a second his mouth is clashing against you.

Everything disappears when you realize that yes; this is in fact Sollux kissing you.

 

You close your eyes and enjoy it while it´s over. It is sloppy since both of you have almost null experience over this area. His lips are soft and taste sweet enough for it to be perfect. His hand stay in your head pulling you closer, you kiss him back with eagerness and it is over way too soon.

 

He is smiling like an idiot and so are you by the end of it.


	5. Take the Wheel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in like 4 months!!! I even forgot I had this going! I promise I won´t do that again.

“Why are you so happy, Karkles?” Terezi asks you while she sits by your side during you lunch; and by sitting in your side you mean invading your personal space.

 

“Who the fuck said I was feeling happy?”

Yes, you are _absolutely_ joyful for what happened yesterday and you are dying to tell someone, but since no one really gives a damn, you will just keep it for yourself.

 

“You smell happy and red.” She tells you. “Do I smell…. Love?” She grins widely. “Are you getting laid with someone, Karkles?” You blush.

 

“Wh-NO!” You yell at her. She laughs.

 

“Then what is it? Tell me what happened, please.” She is poking you playfully, and the bell rings, saving you from telling her about your romantic life which is really awesome right now.

 

Biology is boring as ever and the teacher tells the students you will start to learn about reproduction starting on next week. Fantastic. You make it through PE alive and reread what you will have to say on the oral presentation for History, you hope Terezi has memorized her part because you sure as hell didn´t.

You have problems with the projector and you forgot how to talk midway through explaining about Spartan culture, Terezi saved you more than once. You finished the presentation in about 4 minutes, one of them where while you stayed quiet thinking on what you were supposed to say next. The class laughs at the last slide of the shitty presentation where Terezi had put an image of Obama photoshopped in the body of Beyonce.

You passed with a C plus a few extra credits because you managed to not say any profanity.

Terezi sits behind you for the next two classes just to bug you, it´s new to you since you have get used to get bored without anyone talking to you.

She kisses you in the cheek and then proceeds to lick your face and absconds at the end of the class. You shout as she leaves and she just giggles.

 

“See you next week!” She answers back as you lose her in sight.

 

Rufioh takes you and Kankri to your house so you change the uniforms, he doesn´t tells you why.

You don´t go to the hospital. You are really confused.

 

“What the fuck is going on?” You interrogate Tavros´s cousin, He turns around at you.

 

“It´s a surprise!”

He parks the car, and you open the door way too quickly.

 

“The Park. We didn´t go to the hospital because you drove us to the _park_?!” There is indignation in your voice because really, what is wrong with this guy.

 

“Calm down, Karkat. We are here for them.”He points to a familiar car.

That´s The car of Sollux´s parents.

You look around in search for them. You find them sitting on a bench, Tavro´s wheel chair in front of them. You aren´t saying you are running toward them, but you are.

 

“Hey Karkat!” Tavros waves at you. Sollux turns around, trying to guess which way you are going. He is holding a cane, the scars on his eyes are visible and make your guts twits, but it´s okay. You hug him way to hard; he yelps and awkwardly pats your head.

 

“Tell me what both of you are doing here. I thought you were supposed to get out of the hospital until tomorrow.”

 

“Well, the doctorth told Dad that we could go out for a walk and thee if we were feeling alright, if not, we will have to thtay another few dayth in the hothpital.” Sollux explains.

Mr. Calvin Deuce-Captor paps your back. “Nice to see you Karkat! How are your parents?”

 

“Fine I guess, Mom has starting to paint nonstop on her new masterpiece of something.” He smiles.

 

“That woman never gets away from a brush. That´s why we call her Ms. Paint!” He rubs your hair the way he used to when you were a kid and spent the night on Sollux´s house. Of course you are 17years old now, and a few inches bigger than him.

He looks over at his wife. Sollux has always been the live image of his mother. Tall and elegant, wearing the same blonde hair that her sons. “You guys have fun!” She tells you.

 

“Wait, are you going to be with us?” You ask her. She shakes her head.

 

“We already had Sol for the whole morning, it´s time that he shares time with his friends… and boyfriend.” She emphasizes the last word with a knowing grin. You blush slightly.

 

“Mind informing me since when have you been dating my brother?” Kankri interrogates Sollux once his parents are gone. You roll your eyes and push him away. He rolls his eyes.

 

“So, uh… where are we going?” Tavros looks over at everyone from his chair. Rufioh moves behind him, and starts pushing the chair.

 

“To where we always go, now… Who wants an icecream? Kankri and I invite.”

 

“I most inform you that tell someone he is “inviting” everything before he offers to do so is quite impolite. Even though I will obviously make the favor to my brother and his friends to pay for them as a demonstration of my good behavior. I though you would be better educated in that sense, Rufioh-“

 

“Oh my god, shut up.” You interrupt him before he starts with another one of his lectures. He glares at you and everyone starts to walk.

You prepare to follow Rufioh leading the way, when you notice a certain someone has stayed behind. You glance over at Sollux. “Why aren´t you moving your pathetic ass? I really need an incecream in this hot weather.”

 

“I kind of wanted you to mythelf today.” He smirks. Oh. “Realithed I haven´t take you into a proper date.”

 

“Have you _ever_ been in a proper date with anyone?”

 

“No. Have you?” He extends his hand for you to take. So you do. Your fingers interlace, and you can´t help but smile a little. He kisses you in the cheek, and it takes you by surprise.

 

“Where will you take me then, oh might nerd Casanova?”

 

“Mhm, I don´t know thinthe I can´t really thee anything. Lead the way.”

You punch him in the shoulder. You start walking. “Wouldn´t the others get preoccupied about us?”

 

“Not really, I told TV to cover me up, pluth I guethh RF already thaw it coming.”

 

“And when did you tell your parents?”

 

“Today. They took it well-”His legs hit with something, and he almost fall, dragging your arm with him. Thankfully he manages to stabilize himself. Your head crashes with his chest. “Thorry, I thtill don´t get uthed to… you know.” He apologizes.

 

“Don´t worry.” You quickly rub your forehead. He smiles at you. Or where he thinks you are. “Why so happy, shitstain?”

 

“Becauthe I finally got out of there and can thpend time with you?” He says. “I mean, not ath friendth? Augh, thith romanthe thing ith hard. KK make it eathier.” You roll your eyes.

 

“And you were about to say something actually worth my time hearing. Good job, Captor.”

 

“Told you I wath going to be a thucky boyfriend.”

 

“Yeah, I think you were right on that one.”

You two start walking again, in silence. Just enjoying each other´s company. It almost feels normal. Almost. Like if nothing actually happen aside from the fact you actually are dating someone. You like it.

Children pass by, one of them lets out a small _eww_ while he strides next to you. You show him the finger, and she laughs and stings her tongue out, then runs away.

 

“Tho, I guethh I will finally get to know your new friend. What ith she like?”

 

“Well, she is ginger and really fucking annoying. Also blind.”

 

“Oh, you mutht have thome thort of blind fetish then.” He gives you his shit eating grin. You punch him softly.

 

“Shut up. She will get along with you, both of you are like a rock in my shoes.”

You guide him into one of the banks, and sit down. He places his cane on the floor. “Guethh it wil be uth who will go vithit AA and Tuna now after thchool.” You look over at him.

 

“Has no one told you?” He raises an eyebrow.

 

“Told me what?”

 

“About Aradia.”

 

“What about her?”

 

“Nothing, you´ll get to know later-”

 

“What´th wrong with her? I know Tuna hatn´t woke up, but what about her? KK, what happened after the accident?”

 

“Nothing! She is just…” Your words are cut.

 

“She just what?!”

 

“She is dead…” You finally mutter, and you swear you hear his heart stopping.

 

For one moment his smirk turns into a poker face. “Karkat, thith ithn´t a thing to be joking about.” He snarls at you.

 

“I am not joking! She died in the accident.” He leans into the bank. He is trying to understand it. You regret having telling him.

 

“No… no…. no…” he whispers. His hands travel to his eyes. He is about to cry.

 

You go a little bit closer to him, and place your hand in his shoulder. “Sollux-”

 

“Get away from me!” He yells and tries to stand up from the bank, but ends up falling to the ground. You immediately try to help him up, he pushes you away. His curls up, not caring for anyone around. “Thith can´t be… no, no, no!”

 

“Sollux…” You sit next to him. He puts his head next to your and starts fully crying. You place your arms around. “Shhh, it´s okay.”

 

“No, it´th not!” He says softly.

 

Everyone is starting to stare. The couple with a baby in front of you leave. Who cares.

He grabs your shirt like if it’s the last object that will keep him from completely falling apart. “I killed her, I killed her…”

You look at him. “You didn´t killed anyone, for fucks sake!” You try to comfort him, but he is too busy sobbing his eyes out. “Sollux Captor, listen to me! You. Did not. Killed anyone.”

 

“You don´t underthtand!” He screams. He tries to find his cane, using his hands to touch the ground. You grab it and give it to him.

 

“Accidents happen-”

 

“What, what if Tuna doesn´th waketh up- WHAT IF HE DOETHN´T WAKETH UP?!” He is starting to panic. You sigh, and pull him into a hug again. He is shaking.

You don´t know what to do, and truly wish you had not told him. “Shhh…” You whisper to his ear, that’s what your Mom sometimes does when you are sad or really mad, and somehow it works.

He keeps you close to him, after some minutes, he is finally calmer. His face is still wet, and he looks like if he was about to start crying again. “I ruined everyone´th life. I left Tavroth paraplegic, and killed AA and my brother...” He mumbles over and over again.

 

“You didn´t killed anyone. You aren´t a murdered, it was a car accident, a lot of people dies in them, please don´t start crying on me…” He lets go your shirt, and looks at you, which is weird since he is fucking blind.

 

 

“KK, I wath the one driving.”


	6. A Thing or Two on Healing

Sollux doesn´t wants to talk with you. He doesn´t really wants to talk anyone.

It´s your fault, you told him Aradia died. You shouldn´t had.

 

The rest of your first disaster of a date ends up with him asking Rufioh to drive him home immediately. When he is gone, Kankri gives a long speech about how to not make people feel like shit. You were feeling so shitty you actually put attention to it.

When you arrive home, you skip dinner and ignore the messages Terezi left you over on Trollian.

 

Your bedroom is way too big. You hadn´t really minded the extra space when you were younger, but now it only helps you feel even lonelier. You sigh and stare at the posters of some of your favorite bands and movies that covered the room. When they didn´t used to be there was about the same time the walls were red with crabs of all colors instead of the gray they are now. You painted them after you tried to hold a party and invited everyone on the class.

 

“The crabs are sooo lame. Big kids don´t have things like those in the walls!” One of the little shitheads told you as everyone agreed and simply left. You were so angry you painted them yourself, making a complete mess.

Your mom was out of town, and your dad would let you do anything as a reward for stabbing you accidentally the past summer. Aradia had come into your room that was still fresh with paint. She smiled at you and called Tavros and Sollux for coming help you clean the paint of the things and floor before your mother arrived the next day.

She always did that sort of stuff for everyone. She had been one of your best friends and still is. Of course you understand what it feels that she died. A small part of you that now is gone. But you will never understand what it feels like for Sollux. Their friendship is nothing you had with him.

 

Somebody knocks your door. Your dad opens it a bit; just enough to peer, the same way he did that day you became an unprofessional painter. “Everything fine, kid?”

 

“No, I don´t think everything is actually fine. Let´s see: Basically all my fucking friends are suffering and so am I because I was the only who wasn´t in a stupid car crash!” You tell him not even meaning it to sound as an insult.

 

He takes a deep breath. “Look, your mom is getting really worried since you didn´t eat your dinner last night and I don´t think you will eat your breakfast, so she wanted me to come talk with you about `feelings´.” He walks closer and sits at the computer chair you have next to your desk. “So, spit it out.”

“I already did.” You answer.

 

“I know you to well, little prick. Tell me what´s messin´ in that weird head of yours so I can just go back to read about my terriers without my wife freaking out about her child not eating.”

 

“Basically I just told Sollux that Aradia died, ruining whatever we had in about 3 fucking seconds.”

 

“Who the hell tells that to their boyfriends?” He raises and eyebrow, you groan. You didn´t told him about that yet- “If you are asking how the hell I know. C´mon. It was obvious.”

 

“It was not!” You sigh. “Yes, I know I fucked up, can you go and leave me be miserable?”

 

“Mhm… No.” He turns the chair, and sits on it, the back rest of it touching his chest, eyes locked on you. “Hey, kid. Remember when I stabbed you?”

 

“You think I would have the stupidity so high like some fucking juggalo stoner to forget that?”

 

“I guess you do remember then.” He says. “What things do you learned while being at the hospital?”

 

“Not touch your back at night without telling you I am your son?” He nods.

 

“Aside that.”

 

“Mhm… I don´t really know. I just got out of a hard as a dick week on school, I don´t really want to remember any lessons my pathetic life has shown me.”

 

He looks like he is about to slap you. Usual dad. “If I remember, it was that lispy boy the one that stayed with you for more than a month and even affirmed the story that a burglar came in the house and almost killed you to Mom. Without needing me to threatening him. He is a keeper.”

 

“I already knew that, what does that can do to solve my current situation?”

 

“You were the one dying in there that time. Did he sat on bed all day and sobbed about how he was about to lose somebody? No. He went to be strong with and for you, kid. He stayed with your sorry ass and didn´t let go. That´s what you have to do right now. Get it?”

 

“This conversation, don´t get me wrong, is really fucking appreciated. But, he doesn´t wants to talk to me, you know? He blocked me and Tav over Trollian. He won´t even be near a computer because he is blind!”

 

Your dad looks so done. At least you know he really is trying. “Look. Sometimes after something bad happens, people need a bit of space while everything calms down. Just let him have a rest. But after that, he will need someone to hold him up like when you needed someone to tell you that yes, indeed, it was me the one that put a knife inside your lung.”

He stood up, and prepared for leaving the room.

 

“Dad?”

 

He turned around at you. “Yeah?”

 

“Thanks…”

 

“Whatever, kid. Just go eat someshit. Your mom is really worried.”

 

“I will.”

 

* * *

 

 

The week started all over again.

 

You entered the school, wheeling Tavros. Thankfully, they were facilities with people on a wheelchair. You had seen various classmates in other grades having people like that. But it had still being just about five days since Tav had started using one, so it was just easier of someone was nice enough to push him around.

 

“Hello Karkles!” A familiar by now voice tells you grining widely. Terezi sniffs the air a little. “Oh, it seems you have a new friend with you!”

 

“Oh, hey uh… I am Tavros.” He introduces himself.

 

You turn to the door where some of your classmates are in circle laughing about something. You leave Terezi and Tav who are starting a conversation to go outside the class. Then you see it.

 

“Can´t pick up your cane, Captor?” One of the usual bullies calls.

 

Sollux is on the floor. Everyone around him, as he uses his hand to explore his surroundings. “A little to the left! Your other left!” The guys keep teasing him. One of them is holding his cane up in his shoulders. You groan.

 

You push some of them away. “Everyone of out my goddamn way!” You scream at them.

 

Sollux looks over slightly at the place of the sound, trying to analyze it, frowns and returns his blank stare to the wall. You help him up.

 

“Aww, what a killjoy, Vantas! Helping your boyfriend?” The one holding the cane smiles.

You leave Sollux, and proceed to break this asshole´s nose. His head bumps into the wall, and you take the cane from his hands. Everyone steps away. You show him the finger, and go back with Sollux. He politely grabs the cane, and tries to walk away, accidentally bumping into the wall and ending up in the ground again. A bunch of them laugh.

 

You groan at them. “What is so funny about a blind guy?”

 

They glance over at you. “Everything. Those scars are hilarious.”One of the girls takes out her phone to take a video of Sollux. You quickly push it away from her. She frowns at you and walks away.

You help Sollux up, and get him into the classroom. A hand touches your shoulder, and you turn around. Something hits your eye, and you fall to the ground.

The guy had a bloody nose and picked you up by the collar from your shirt. You have faced him times before. You aren´t scared, not at all. He hits you in the stomach this time, knocking the air out of your lungs.

 

He lets you in the floor this time. You glance at him. He cleans his blood with the sleeve of his uniform. “Come on, let´s leave this faggots alone.”

 

Everyone leaves. Terezi comes to help you up. You push her away somehow. “I´m fine…” You tell her. She sighs.

 

“Are these guys always like that with you?” She asks at Tavros, he nods.

 

You take a sit, and wait for the bell to mark the beginning of classes. Your breath is irregular and it really hurts. You thought after so many punches you might have developed some sort of body shield against pain, but the universe isn´t that nice to you. Sollux isn´t sitting near you, which hurts a little but more than the punch right now. He leans forwards with his kicked street puppy face and doesn´t pay attention to anything.

That´s mostly the only thing he says to you in the rest of the day.

The bell rings, and the teacher comes in, explaining for everyone that they will have to be “ultra nice to our new disabled classmates.” Bullshit.

People keep throwing things at you and your friends for the rest of the class, mostly paper. Although you had a mini freak out when an eraser hit your forehead in Spanish class.

Lunch time arrives. Terezi doesn´t stop talking to Tavros and Sollux.

 

“I tell you, you smell like no one I´ve know!” She says at Sollux, who doesn´t really answers. “You are the perfect combination of delicious red and blue! I think I will call you Mr. Apple berry Blast from now on.”

 

“Tho you can actually thmell colours?” Tavros asks

 

“And taste them too!” She corrects proudly.

 

“So, what do I uh… smell like?”

 

“Chocolate.”

 

You aren´t really hungry, Mom made sure you had a whole day of not eating in today´s breakfast. You watch as Terezi decides to just continue licking the History book with a red cover and Tavros laughing as how she just licks the shit out of everything she has on her backpack. Sollux is sitting next to you, and you start to notice is moving closer slowly. He still stares emptily at everything and with the depressed face he has been wearing the whole way. You look away and sigh silently.

 

You have to move again when the time to come home finally arrived.

Terezi hugs you all and says she has found her new favorite 3 boys on town. She gets in the car with her scary sister and waves goodbye from the window.

Rufioh parks in front of a tree and helps Tavros enter. You open the co pilot seat, preparing to get in when you see Sollux on the floow again, his cane too far for his hands to actually sense where it is. You close the door.

 

“Something wrong, Karkat?” Kankri asks as he puts his backpack on the truck.

 

“I think I will walk home today.” You answer, grab your messenger back and make your way to Sollux.

 

Somebody passes by him, and kicks his cane away. You roll your eyes. This is exactly why America is how it is now.

 

You help him up, and put his cane in his hands. “You really are quite an useless sack of dicks today, you know?”. He doesn´t answers, just starts walking, using his cane to navigate. “Atleast you know the way home?” You yell. The piece of fuck just keeps moving.

 

You run at him. “Sollux, for fuck´s sake, and I know how you are feeling and all, but this is madne-”

 

“NO, YOU DON´T KNOW HOW I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW!” He yells at you. It´s the first thing he has told you since Friday, and it truly burns. “LEAVE ME ALONE, KARKAT!”

 

You feel your heart sink. Fuck the guy; he can deal with his stupid feelings alone. Rufioh hasn´t left yet; maybe you can still go with him than stay here

 

Then you remember what your father told you. And what Sollux had done for you so many times when you were like this.

 

“No. Hell fucking no!” You scream back at him. “I am your fucking boyfriend you like it or not, and just because your best friend died I won´t give up on you! You know how many stupid years I had to stand to see your pitiful, precious and moronic face each day wanting to kiss the living fuck out of it, but didn´t? And now, that I have finally had the guts to spit out my crush, I will not leave you alone, you ginormours troglodyte dickpuppet! So, you better put your head out of your fucking asshole and let me guide you the way home so you don´t end up worse than what you are right now, because not doing it is not an option, Captor!”

 

You have his attention now. As well as other shitton of people who you don´t really give a fuck right now. You walk toward him, and punch him harshly at the shoulder. Again. And again. He isn´t talking, he should be saying something.

 

“I am dying, reincarnating into this goddamn horrible existence, and bleeding the fuck out of my body thanks to you, you know? I care for you, I really fucking do. I care for Tavros, and for Mituna, and better be fucking sure as that everyone at this school is a prick that I cared for Aradia! Talk to me, say something, pube lice. Say that you hate me, just say any stupid fucking putrid horseshit that comes to your mind, and just say something-” You can´t continue your rant, because the douchebag is grabbing you by the neck, and pulling you into a kiss. With his lips ending on in your cheek, then finally in your mouth. You have only kissed him three times, and this is nothing like you have experienced before. A kiss out of a romcom. You melt into it, slowly, then completely.

 

You are sure as balls that now you have caught the eye of everyone in a mile radius, but it doesn´t matters. It’s just you and him, and that´s all that is really important.

 

“Thorry…” He apologizes, and he is truly trying to not fall again right there. You hug him once again.

 

“It´s okay. Everything is going to be fine. You just, don´t have to do this alone you know?”

 

He has to lean over for a proper hug since he is too tall for someone your age and you are only 5’3. He nuzzles his head on your shoulder, but it´s alright.

 

“You are a moron.” You whisper at him.

 

“Yeah, but I am your moron.”

You smile slightly.

 

You part away until you are sure he won´t start crying like the stupid baby he is again. He has the cane on one hand, and is holding yours with the other.

 

The whole school knows that you two are a thing, and those who don´t most be freeze somewhere in fucking Antarctica or be completely deprived from technology. But as you said earlier, it´s alright. He was next to you, you were next to him, and it was the only thing you ever really wanted.

 

 

 


	7. Just a Grim Lie

The door creaks. Slowly. You don´t give it a thought at first. Maybe Kanny went for a midnight snack again.

 

Then it creaks again. You put your pillow in your head. Can´t some people just get a good sleep?

 

When rapid footsteps start to sound at the hallway, you take it seriously. You flip your body to the other side of the bed, and grab the bat you have hided in there. You put on the crab slippers you ordered online, and grab the bat firmly with both hands.

 

You are sadly Spencer Slick´s son. That means this isn´t the first time some murderer from another gang gets to the house to kill people or seeks revenge. You proudly managed to break the bones of 4 people that had the guts to bother your family with this same bat.

Your father had given you clear instructions to follow if you ever sensed if someone entered the house. First, grab the bat or anything you can defend yourself from. Second, follow the noises and make sure it is not anyone that actually lives in the house. Third, if it is not, show them some really fucking polite Vantas-Slick welcome, or inform Dad about it, who will surely stab the living shit out of the guy. In extreme occasions, search for your family, hide, and _do not_ act like a hero. No one wants to pay a medical bill for a dumpass.

Your steps are slow, and you pass by Kankri´s room. That is next to yours. You can hear his snores, so you are sure as that your father has killed at least a person that there is someone inside the house.

 

The steps start to quickly go downstairs, so you go behind them, making sure they don´t notice you. It´s a man.

He travels to the kitchen, and you prepare to hit. Then he turns around.

 

“IT´S KARKAT!” You instantly scream at your father. He lowers the knife and sighs.

 

“ _This_. Is exactly why you got on the hospital the last time?” He scolds you. You put the bat on the table.

 

“Well, sorry! You better than anyone knows we got like at least a person sneaking to the house in a year.” You sit on one of the chairs as he opens the fridge and gets the milk out, opening the bowl. “What the fuck are you doing here anyway, Dad?”

 

He drinks from the carton. “What the hell are _you_ doing at this time? You got school tomorrow.”

 

“I know you, you never weak up in the middle of the night unless you go to accidentally stab your son. Are you going somehwhere?”

 

“If only you used those smarts to get good grades.” He snarls. “Yes, I am actually going somewhere. Now, if you don´t tell your mother, I´ll even let you go see that blind boyfriend of yours sometime.”

 

“Deal. Where are you going?”

 

“Curiosity killed the cat, kid.”

 

“Yep, but you promised Mom you wouldn´t murder neither me nor Kankri if he didn´t talked that much.”

 

He rolls his eyes, and puts the milk back into his place. “Look, it´s business I have to attend alone. If you follow me, I will set on fire all your romcoms. Now go to sleep, and you are not allowed to go out at this hour because I did!” He yells at you while he starts to walk toward the door.

 

“I will go out on a date with Sollux this weekend and I am not returning until Tuesday and there is no shit you can do about it!” You scream back.

 

“Whatever; just tell your mother so she doesn´t bothers me because you are spanking a disable person!” You blush and prepare a comeback for that, but he has already left the house.

 

This was really suspicious, even for him. He usually would give at least a vague idea where he would be. You tiptoe to the window. He didn´t took the car, so you still can see him opening the front gates to get out. This is a serious bullshit.

Experience has taught you to not follow him, especially if he is going to a meeting with his Crew that may end up in a shotgun somehow. But you do it anyway.

 

You change quickly to some jeans and proper shoes. You also put on a coat, and the fake pair of glasses Mom made you bought last time you went to the mall because they looked cute.

You take the bat, and go out. You sprint toward the exit of the gates and all the way to the actual town. You see him; he stops to buy somehsit in a store and continues walking.

 

He turns around in the corner of Lincoln Street, and there is only one place that leads there.

 

The streetlights illuminate slightly the dark hallways. He enters to the cemetery. A taller man with a hat is there. He is familiar. As you go closer, you notice it´s actually Uncle Raymond.

You hide behind one of the graves that are bigger. You already know this isn´t some kind of Gang reunion.

 

Uncle Raymond is in front of a grave, and places a bouquet of roses on it.

 

“I didn´t thought you would show up, Slick.” He tells you father.

 

“I said I would.”

 

They stay in silence for a while. You wonder what’s going on.

 

“You know it was her.” Raymond breaks the silence.

 

“We have no real proves it was Snowman or anyone of the Felt. Doc Scratch is dead, there is no way they were involved in the accident-”

 

“It wasn´t an accident, you know that well.”

 

Your heart stops.

 

“My informants will bring what we need to hear over this week, if it was indeed Snowman I will end her.”

 

“You should have long time ago, Slick. She is poison. The deal is over; they will start messing with our families soon. We have to attack now that she doesn´t waits for it.”

What deal? Who the fuck is Snowman?”

 

“Raymond, just shut up and listen to me. The informants will tell us if it really was a murder attempt-”

 

“My daughter is _dead._ ” Raymond raises his voice. “Club´s kid? One of them is in coma the other is blind. Hearts has to wheel his paraplegic boy around. Just because yours didn´t got hurt, you think it isn´t big deal. The Felt did it. End of the discussion.”

 

Your father sighs. “I am sorry. You don´t know how sorry I truly am. She… she was a nice girl.”

 

“Your apologies won´t bring her back.” There is another pause again.

 

You have no idea what´s going on. You can´t think straight. They… they actually tried to kill them?... Sollux... Your own life now…

 

“I talked with the others.”

 

“What? When did you told me about a fucking reunion?!”

 

“We have decided. We are out of this.” Raymond says. “The Midnight Crew is over.”

 

“It can be over. We are the best gang out there. You can´t just leave it!”

 

“Yes we can. Spencer. We already made a good amount of money for when we are old. I don´t want anyone to have their sons dying. It is not a nice feeling.” His voice is firm and serious. “I am telling this not as the person you used to kill and shoot with, but as a friend. Leave it. It is not going good for anyone.”

And he walks away, simply leaves your father there.

Dad stays there for a while. He turns on a cigarette. You thought he had quitted, but how many lies he had told you and your mom?

 

When he goes away, you fall to the ground.

 

It´s grim, and still dark. You thought your father was just a though guy. Now you are not sure if you can call him father now.

 

You stay quiet, not even crying. She is dead, and the others, including you, could be at any minute.

It´s a strange feeling. It´s not sadness. Not anger or rage. Just emptiness. A hallow inside you now. You look down at the ground. There is a small dandelion growing. You take it from the ground.

 

You stand up, and go to the grave they were looking at.

 

“Aradia Megido. Beloved daughter and friend. 1997-2014.”

Sollux, you and everyone had thought it was an accident. He was blaming himself for it. You felt guilty because you weren´t there when it happen. It took a part of everyone. And now you discover it was someone else who did it.

You place the dandelion on the grave.

 

They have to pay.

 

They will.

 

 

 

 


	8. Nerdy Popsicle

You skip school the next day.

You don´t even want to go home. Mom will probably be worried to death and then really mad because you didn´t arrived to the house until Friday´s morning.

 

It´s cold, but the coat you have keeping you warm as you stay to sleep next to the cemetery. When you wake up, the streets are already full of people. Some people toss some coins at you. You were about to ask one of the people why when you remember you are a teenager with really messy hair, a long coat, and a bat laying on the sidewalk.

You place the change in your pocket, and stand up, taking the bat with you. You walk by. It´s still pretty deserted. It´s Thursday and most people are or on school or work. You sigh when your stomach starts to growl. You expect the charity that was given to you and also find a couple dollars you had accidentally left there the last time you had used the jeans. Seems enough to buy something on the cafeteria across the street.

As you open the door, you get a few dirty looks. You brush your hair with your hand, and take a glance at the menu. For $4.5 you can get a nice breakfast, and you even have something left to buy food later.

 

You sit at the bar; waiting for the cook to bring you what you would eat when a messy ginger head with red sharp glasses and a red and teal umbrella, even though it’s really fucking sunny, catches your eye.

 

“Terezi?” You ask.

She turns around, and almost jumps in surprise.

 

“Why the fuck aren´t you at school?”

 

“Why aren´t _you_ there?” She tells you. She makes a sign for you to go near her, so you do.

An old fat lady places a plate in front of you as Terezi continues eating her.

 

“I never go to school on Thursdays.” She explains as you take a sip of the milk. “Why are you here anyway? You don´t look like the kind of guy that will skip classes just for fun, Karkles…”

 

“You don´t know that. I skip that goddamn loss of my time whenever I can.” She gives you an incredulous look. “Okay, something happened and I don´t really want to go to my house.”

The fried eggs are too greasy for your liking and the bacon doesn´t even seems bacon, but it tastes good enough. Maybe even better than what Mom cooks for you.

 

Terezi sniffs you around as you finish your orange juice. “There is something weird on you. Are you okay?”

 

“Why do you ask?” You tell with your mouth full.

 

“You don´t smell like you usually do.” She explains.

 

“How do I usually smell anyway?”

 

“Honestly, to cherries with a horrible gray scent painted all over them.” She giggles like if it had been funny.

 

She waits for you while you finish eating. When you are done, she stands up and goes to the door as she takes out her cane. You watch her go, but she stops. “Wanna come?”

 

“Why the fuck would you want to spend time with me doing whatever when we are not at school?” She shrugs.

 

“You don´t seem to have nothing else to do, nor I really. Come on Karkat, don´t be a killjoy.” She grins widely and you roll your eyes.

You walk by together in silence. You glance at one of the clocks at store. It´s 10:34. You look at her red and white cane, with the weird dragon figure on top. She moves it around slowly, accidentally hitting things or people. You have no idea where you are really. You had never been to this part of town.

 

She stops in front of an ice-cream. A really fat guy with a weird hat looks out of the window. “Hey Terezi. You want the usual thing?” He smiled brightly, she nodded. The guy went inside of the truck and got out a red Popsicle and handed it to Terezi, who ginned widely and started to lick it viciously.

 

“Thanks, Sawbuck.” She handed him the money. He stared at you for a while.

 

“Won´t you boyfriend want something else?” he asked, making you blush slightly. Terezi giggles.

 

“We are not dating, He is actually gay.” She explained, and then you glared at her.

 

“Ex-fucking-cuse me? I am not gay. I am _bi_ , Sollux is the gay one!” You sharply corrected her as you started to walk away from the ice cream car. She was busy tasting the fuck out of her Popsicle to laugh more at you.

 

“Since when are you two dating anyway?” She starts to make a conversation, as you notice she is leading you to a part of the town you have never heard of. It´s quiet and calm, but it may be the lack of teenagers still in school really. It has trees and lots of grass, though it isn´t really a park. You like it enough to not shout at her and just answer the question.

 

“Actually, today is our first week anniversary.”

 

“You aren´t a really good boyfriend if you stay with blind girls instead of going with your blind boy.” She teases you. Yeah, you already know.

 

“What about you? Is there someone with so many death brain cells to actually look something romantic in your pathetic ass?”

 

“Yeah, there is this cool kid that has sort of a thing for me.” She lets your previous insult slide. “But we have only met twice.”

 

You look over at her. “Twice?”

 

“We are online friends, dumpass.” Oh. “We meet a few years ago, but he lives until Texas so he only passes through my house when he goes to visit his wicked half sister in New York.”

 

“Which is this asstown´s name then?”

 

“Dave. You would probably hate him, but he is nice when you get to know him…”

The rest of the way is spent in silence. She finishes the Popsicle and just sort of throws stick somewhere. You listen as the birds fly by and you look up to the sky. There are a few clouds, but it´s mostly clear. Terezi walks by your side, marking her steps with the cane, in a safe distant of you that makes you wonder why that guy thought you were dating.

 

She finally sits in a place in the grass, next to a tree, and makes a sign for you to sit next to her, so you do.

“Now, why did you really spent the night on the street?”

 

You raise an eyebrow. “How did you?...”

 

“You don´t smell like daisies.” Good point there.                

 

“Okay, and then why the fuck would I have to tell you why I did sleep in the sidewalk like some sort of young hobo anyway?”

 

She shrugs. “Maybe because you followed me until here?”

 

You sigh and lean onto the tree. “I really don´t want to talk about it.”

 

“Okay.”

She just turns and rests on the grass. You are truly surprised she won´t push the issue more, which you expected her to do.

 

“Why do you skip school all Thursday´s?”

 

“Because I want to?”

You sense she is lying, but you don´t tell her.

 

You just enjoy the view of this place you have never really been before. You are probably lost in the city with no real idea where the hell you are and barely any money and no cell phone, but for some reason it seems alright. It just does. Compared to the giant mess your life has became in the past three weeks, it just seems like the most normal and less shitty thing that has happened to you.

A drop of water hits your nose, and you look up to notice a gray mass of evaporated air coming toward you. Terezi stands up and opens her umbrella before you get wet as Kanny´s sheets on the morning until he was 12.

 

“How did you know it was going to start raining cats and dogs?”

 

“Maybe because I saw it on the news weather report?”

 

Okay, you feel like an airheaded dump blonde now even though your hair is raven black as your mothers.

 

You start to walk again. Terezi sometimes jumps in the puddles. You are still carrying your bat with one hand and the umbrella for both in another. Some people daw at you two as Terezi grabs your arm for not sliding thanks to the water she insists to splash over you. You sigh and just concentrate on your falling yourself, what this people need is a sign that says that you are already taken by a big nerd.

You pass by a store, and something catches your eye. It’s a pair of glasses. 3-D, to be exact, but not the normal paper ones, they are normal ones’ frame. One lense is red and the other blue, and so dense they don´t let anything see.

 

“Hey, can we stop to buy something?” You tell the annoying girl traveling by your side.

 

“Sure?”

 

You quickly guide her to the entrance, and wow. Just wow, you are truly impressed by all the shit selling on here. Talking about the nerd you are dating, this place is the lively dream of all them. From Star Treck tees to figure actions of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You know that just for some of the things Sollux has mentioned or owns. Totally for that.

 

Terezi sniffs some of the things. “Don´t lick anything.” You order her and take the glasses of from the front exhibitor and place them on the counter.

The guy with severe acne, a hat, and no obvious social life looks up at you as if you were scum.

 

“How much as this worth?”

 

“$500. You are lucky; they have 25% of discount.”

 

This guy has to be kidding you. “They are only a pair of fucking glasses; now tell me how much they are worth it.”

 

“Just a pair of glasses?” Oh no, you have offended the fedora lord. “Those are especial collection glasses from one of the characters of a really popular webcomic! These were made from Italy, where a rich fanatic of Ms. Paint Adventures-”

 

“Okay, I get it; they are a stupid relic or someshit for you.” You massage your temples, starting to lose your patience. “Can I take them and then bring the money to pay you later?”

 

“Sorry, but we do not wait for uncultured hill billies like you to take our things and pay for them later.” He smiles at you. You raise the bat from your hand, but Terezi pinches you to behave.

You take a breath. If this guy knew you are the son of one of the most dangerous gangsters of this city-

 

“Hey, wait. Let me see that bat closer.” The sack of dicks asks.

 

“With pleasure-”

 

“Karkat!” Terezi hits you on the head, and you just place the bat in front of the guy, who takes a closer look at it.

 

“Do you know that this was used on the Baseball 1981 ball series?” He is having a mini freak out, how cute. “Bro, if you sold me that bat you could buy a lot of glasses like that…”

 

You are starting to like this guy. “Okay, then lets trade the glasses for the bat.”

 

“I would still own you money if you bought three pair of glasses…” He started to touch the bat as if it was some sort of Aztec treasure. “But it is kind of dented… still, it´s worth a nice sum…”

 

“Cool! Give me the money.” You tell him. Terezi snorts and you smile for yourself.

 

“Okay, let me just get the papers and-”

 

“Do it fast, fatty. Mr. Hill-Billy-Who-Owns-A-Bossass-Bat wants his money.” You tell him and he rolls his eyes.

 

After about an hour, you have enough money to pay a nice hotel if you don´t want to return home yet and a nice “7 Days And We Are Still A Thing!” gift for the youngest Captor.

 

“Let´s spend the money!” Terezi suggests.

 

“In what?”

 

“I heard there is a carnival a few miles away from here.”

 

“Haha, No.” You answer.

 

“You are such a party pooper, you know?” Her grins disappears for a while, but you know she is still happy because it has stopped raining and you two just made a hateful Mr. Dude-bro feel like shit.

 

Terezi and you continue walking around, stopping to eat nice food on Olive Garden, which you totally didn´t knew was there, and spend $637 with 50 cents in the mall.

You laughed and joked, and people still said you were such a beautiful couple. She is busy eating her second bag of Twizzler when you start to imagine what it would be like if you two were actually dating. If most of the days were spent like today had been, it would be nice. But still, you have known her for so little time to think it further. You can maybe say Terezi has started to become one of your best friends this far, though. It´s alright, you guess.

 

When it´s starting to actually get dark, she invites you to spend the night.

 

“Mom is never there, Windfang is still in college and Vris is probably going to visit her girlfriend Kan, so come on Karkat! We can watch some romcoms, though it would only be of Nic Cage since movies with that actor are the only ones we own.”

 

“Nic Cage? He sucks so much it almost makes me want to puke. Almost. Why do you even own those?”

 

“My sister is kind of obsessed with it.”

You accept.

 

The way to her house is shortened by taking a bus.

 

Her house is actually pretty big. Bigger than yours, and let me tell you the place you live in is fucking fine. You won´t go to school tomorrow since you don´t have your backpack, or things or a change of clothes. Terezi accepts to hide in one of the bazillion of rooms existing in the Pyrope-Serket manor and stay with you the whole day.

 

It´s funny and sappy and it´s so weird you completely forget the kind of shit that made you stay on the street on the first place.


	9. Survival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I haven´t updated in so long again!  
> I kind of started to get away from the computer and actually made a social life, but now that summer is over and that school has kept me with a reason to use the internet, I promise I will finish the story :U

You pay the taxi driver and thank him for the ride. He wishes you a good day and drives away from the gates. You take a deep breath, firmly holding the bag with some of the stuff you had buy the previous day and walk toward the house.

Surprise hits you as you see a cop car still with the sirens and flashing lights on in front of the entrance. This can´t mean anything good. You sprint toward the door and knock it, since you don´t have the keys. A muffled conversation stops and your mo opens it.

 

“KARKAT, OH SWEET LORD!” She hugs you tight not minding the obvious fact you are dirty and been wearing the same clothes for more than 24 hours.

 

“Mom. Too tight.” You say as she just tightens her grip.

 

A police man with a big mustache pear over her shoulder. “Is this the boy you had been looking for?”

 

“Yes. He is soo grounded…” She just drags you inside.

 

“Then our work is over, Matt, let´s go.” He tells his partner and he tips his hat for your mom. “Ma´am.” They close the door, and you notice your dad sitting on the sofa. He stands up and you know you are screwed.

 

“KARKAT MARIANNE VANTAS WHERE THE EVER LOVING FUCK WHERE YOU!” He yells at you, and grabs you by the corner of the shirt.

 

“I was just gone for a day; Kankri has been gone for more than that and you two don´t scold him for that-”

 

“YOU COULD BE DEATH, YOU KNOW? I TOLD YOU TO STAY HOME AND YOU DIDN´T. DOES YOUR HEAD IS NOT WORKING? ARE YOU DEAF? YOUR STUPID GETAWAY COULD COST NOT ONLY YOUR LIFE BUT THIS _WHOLE GODDAMN FAMILY´S SAFETY_! YOU ARE SO GROUNDED THAT I WILL STAB YOU AGAIN AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT GOING ANYWHERE OUTSIDE FROM THIS HOUSE IN THE NEXT CENTURY-”

 

“Spencer, stabing _again_? I thought you said it was a burglar!” Your mom crosses her arms and your dad lets you go and turns at her about to correct.

 

“Oh no, sweetie, I didn´t stabbed him on purpose, it was just the kid took me by surprise-”

 

“GO AWAY, I´LL HANDLE THIS.” She tells him firmly. He sighs and just walks to his studio.

You laugh mentally; it will always be funny how your Dad, the biggest gangster of the decade, will always be defeated by his wife when she is mad. You don´t really blame him, she is fucking scary.

As she is right now.

She grabs you by the ear like if you were some toddler, and throws you to the coach. She is frowning, with her hands in her hips. Yeah, you certainly wish you had stayed with Terezi for another day.

 

“You better give me a good explanation or I´ll personally make you have some real fear in your life, young man.”

 

“I…” You wanted to tell her just because you want your liberty, but you don´t know how. The sudden emptiness and void returns to you as your remember why you had left.

 

“Karkat?” She asks.

 

“… Why are you making such a fuss? I have gone for weeks without telling you or him anything, and I want to know why the fuck do you suddenly care now.” You try to change the topic.

 

Your mom sits next to you, and bite her lip. “I don´t know how to tell you this, but something happened. Your father already told me about why everything is going like this…”

 

“Mom… what happened?” You are worried and concerned. You beg whatever being is up there that your friends are okay.

 

“There was an explotion on your school yesterday.” Your fist clench and your heart stops. “Don´t worry, no one was hurt, but none of you can really get out of your houses. Just for safety.”

 

“What is going on? Why does everyone wants us dead?!” You complain and curl up. Great, perfect. You are officially the worst person ever. No doubt. Sollux could have died, again, and you weren´t there. You don´t want to imagine what it would be like if he was indeed death, you just can´t.

 

“This may seem hard to let sink in, but your dad is in certain troubles. If we stay in the house, it´s okay. They just… Bad people wants us to disappear because they think this way they can take over your dad.” She explains as if you were some sort of kid. She hugs you once again. “We thought they tried to kidnap you, Karky-Crabs.” She calls you by that stupid nickname she used to when you were small. Does she think you are still a child? “Don´t do it again.”

You let it go and just hug her. You don´t want anything to happen to anyone. Especially not your family.

 

“So basically I can´t go out anywhere now?” She nods.

 

“Or at least go with someone if you do. But, you are grounded so you are staying here anyway.” She smiles, and brushes your messy bangs away from you. You smile back, it just Mom. “Now, go take a bath, you smell like a homeless person!”

She kisses your cheek, and stands up and leaves.

You are not sure if anyone could ever be like your Mom. 

 

* * *

 

“Kankri, please. Lend me your phone.” You repeat to your egg headed brother once again.

 

“I do not think letting you use it is right. After all, our parents were the ones that took away your laptop and other privileges because of your bad behavior. You had all of us worried.” The little shit is enjoying being in a position of power for you right now. You are heavily considering pushing him and take the cell phone to your room. You have to keep your patience.

 

“I really need to talk with Sollux. Just give me the phone.” You insist.

 

“And what do I get in return?” He is grinning. Seriously, fuck this guy.

 

“Me not punching you…” He makes a negative sound.

 

“That way you won´t get the phone…”

 

“Augh! Okay, fine. I´ll let you lecture me for whatever time you want, just let me use it.”

 

He seems to consider it for a couple seconds. “Okay.” He hands you his cell phone, you quickly grab it and run to lock yourself in your room.

 

You type Sollux´s number from memory, and wait for him to answer. The beeping sound makes you die slowly.

He doesn´t answers. You call again and wait.

Nothing. You hit your head with the wall, and call for a third time.

 

“Hello?” He answers from the other line.

“Sollux, it´s me.” You tell him.

He cuts the call.

You curse and call again. You hate yourself so much right now.

 

“Hey!” He answers in a more cheerful voice, you sigh in relief.

 

“Sollux, we need to talk but I can´t get out of my room-”

 

“Thith ith Thollux Captor, I can´t anthwer right now, but leave your methhage.” Beep sound.

FOR FUCK´S SAKE.

 

“Okay, listen here shithead. I am sorry, you don´t know how fucking sorry I am, but please, talk to me. If you still want to keep me as in a relationship status, you have no idea how grateful I would be, just please. Let me talk to you… I need you…” You say starting feel sad. You sent and hope he hears you. He probably won´t, but you deserve it.

Spending the day with a girl instead of him. Stupid fucking moron.

You wait for him to text or message or call for a whole hour. Then you are starting to give up. You leave the phone and just sit on the bed staring at the ceiling. You glance at the bag with the gift you had gotten him and you will probably never give him since you are trapped in the house. You  have never hated yourself so much as now. Never ever. He will never talk to you again, right after it seemed you had made something _right_ , you ripped it away. You can´t think straight anymore, really. You are tired, really tired. Not only tired of this huge stupid mess, just tired. You don´t even bother moving into the bed.

You slowly start to close your eyes, and fall asleep.

 

You wake up to Kankri´s ring tone by the time the sun is already out, his own stupid voice. “You got a call! You got a call!” Repeating over and over again. He is such a loser sometimes.

You pick up. “Sollux?!”

 

“Hey KK.”

Happiness washes you over as you hear his voice again.

 

“Holly fucking shit on a pogo stick, tell me you are okay, right the fuck now before I flip my shit so hard the whole universe will feel it.” You basically order him. He sighs. “Sollux? You are okay, right?”

 

“No, I am not.” You bite your lip as he continues. “KK, where the fuck have you been? You´ve got all of uth worried!” His voice is cracking. You hit your face with the wall once again. “I-I … I thought you were… like AA.”

 

“Shhh, no I am fine, just grounded, I swear. I just spent the night out and hanged out with someone-”

 

“Thomeone?” He asks. Fuck. “We both know you are jutht ath thocially awkward ath I am, with who would you even hang out?”

 

“… Terezi.” You say. It´s better to say the truth, you´ve seen too much romcoms to know lies won´t help your relationship. “We didn´t did much anyway, she just helped me get you a gift for our anniversary.”

 

“Oh, tho you didn´t forgot?” He replies sarcastically. His voice is still cracking, hopeless. Really un-Sollux like. “But you still preferred to thpend it with a girl inthtead of _me_ , huh?” You facepalm.

 

“I am the worst fucking boyfriend the whole universe, actually all the universes, have ever seen, I know. But I swear over fucking Will Smith that she and I didn´t do anything aside just hanging out in a mall…”

 

“I don´t think you underthtand this, Karkat!” He is using your full name; you now know for sure that this is serious matter. He is mad, he has all the right to be mad, but it still burns. “I thought you were kidnapped, or lost or dead. _Dead._ I don´t know about you, but I don´t want another one of my best friends dying. And now you are juth thaying that you were just walking around with a girl?!” He is basically shouting. You massage your temples.

 

“Sollux, I am genuinely sorry, so goddamn sorry like I´ve never been in my life-”

 

“I don´t want an apology. I jutht want thomeone who actually taketh theriously a relationship…” You are now offended.

 

“Ex-fucking-cuse me?! I take this relationship very seriously, for your information. Who was the one that had to take care when you were too busy just crying your own heart out with tears big enough to make Noah built another fucking arc or someshit, dickmugger.” You say. “And I am sorry I spent our one week anniversary with Terezi, but trust me, you have no absolute fucking idea in which kind of horseshit I am into right now and honestly my problems are basically eating me alive.”

 

“Karkat, I am fucking blind! Do you want to know what happened at school? I got beaten up so badly that I had no abtholute fucking idea where the hell I wath!” Oh. “You promithed me to walk me home each thingle fucking day, but thinthe thith athhholes think it´th funny to take my cane away I couldn´t even move when a loud fucking ECTHPLOTION HIT THE THCHOOL. You think you´ve got problemth?!” He is even more furious than usual. God, you suck.

 

“I… I didn´t knew that, Sol, are you seriously fine? Did something happened, fucking Jesus, tell me you didn´t got hurt.”

 

“No, aside from have lotht my dignity, I am okay.” He says. “But, oh wait. Thinthe when do you care for me? You weren´t there when Aradia died, you weren´t there when I died almotht again, and you weren´t there when they told me I completely thcrewed up my own brother´th brain!”

 

The last part got you confuse. “Wait, Mituna woke up?”

 

“Yeth. But apparently, he now barely rememberth anything and his brain won´t work right for the retht of hith life… I would have really had him being blind and me being in hith plathe inthead.” You hear a sniff.

 

“Are you crying?”

 

“What if I am, athhhole?” He snarls at you. “If you could pleathe thtop calling me tho I can jutht protheed to drown mythelf in thelfhate, I would be really, really thankful. If you didn´t got that one, I am hanging up to you, Vantas.” You freeze.

 

“Wait, Sollux… A-are we still…?” You ask the same question you have asked him more than a million times even when you two weren´t dating.

 

“Honethtly? I don´t know if we are friendth anymore, lethh thomething more.”

 

“Sollux, wait-” And he hangs up.

 

You squeeze the phone in your hands, and throw it to the wall. Fuck Kankri, you´ll buy him another one later. You press yourself to the wall, and wrap your hands around you, because this isn´t fair. You have felt the whole situation was sad, you have gotten mad for it, you have even felt annoyed, but never really felt it wasn´t fair. For you, it had just been an accident. But it wasn´t now.

 

They are actually trying to kill you and everybody you have love. And now that you had just finally managed to get the love life you wanted, they were going to kill it too.

 

But you wouldn´t let it be killed.

 

You will fight for it to survive. With your nails and teeth, if necessary.

 

You didn´t wanted it to survive, you wanted it to _live._

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever, so I hope it doens´t comes out so bad. Will try to update at least every week.


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